The Break Free Weekly Newsletter - Edition #2
The Desire to Grow
Opening Remarks: Growth, Purpose, and Staying Close to the Fire
One hard truth in recovery is realizing that the desire to grow personally is essential for a life free from porn. For a long time, I thought I could just quit, but I didn’t see how neglecting a growth mindset kept me stuck. This week, focus on igniting those coals of desire and stoking the fire with the right fuel.
Featured Articles
1. Escaping the Flight of Addiction: Lessons from the Movie FLIGHT
This is a great article from a friend I’ve met through the platform X, James Mac, exploring his journey of escaping from addiction and the power of human connection. Check him out on Medium! “For many of us grappling with addiction, life can feel like a battle between facing our reality or numbing it. For years, I wrestled with my own demons — a quiet ache of loneliness that seemed impossible to fill. Just like Denzel Washington’s character, Whip Whitaker, in Flight, I was searching for an escape, something that could mask my pain, even if only for a while. However, as both Whip and I learned, addiction is not the core problem. It’s just a symptom of something deeper — often, chronic loneliness.”
2. Finding Your Why
In this recent article, I explore the vital role of understanding your "why" in breaking free from my relationship with pron. Reflecting on my own journey, I discuss how acknowledging the impact of porn on my values and identity helped me confront the damage it caused in my life.
3. Prevalence of Problematic Pornography Use and Attitude Toward Pornography Among the Undergraduate Medical Students
Journal of Psychosexual Health, 2021 — This study examined porn use among 1,050 undergraduate medical students to assess the prevalence and attitudes toward porn. It’s a revealing look at the widespread impact of porn addiction and shifting attitudes around it.
Practical Tips: What’s Your Why? 3 Steps to Find It in Porn Recovery
Reflect on the Impact
Take stock: how has porn affected your relationships, self-worth, or focus? Recognize what’s at stake to fuel your “why.”Envision Your Future Self
Picture yourself free and fully present. What changes? Use this vision to inspire your commitment.Identify Core Values
What do you stand for? Honesty, family, growth? See how freedom aligns with who you truly want to be.
Community Spotlight
Reclaiming what’s worth fighting for
“As a woman that is reclaiming my femininity, it's an honor to witness men reclaim their masculinity. I think its amazing what you share and write about! Thank you. 🌻”
Reflection
Think about how honest you are with yourself each day. Are you holding truths behind locked doors, or are you practicing an open-door policy where your truth is accessible?
Additional Resources
Books:
Atomic Habits by James Clear
Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson
Porn Free: Becoming the Type of Man Who Does Not Look at Porn by Matt Dobschuetz
Porn Free Millennial Podcasts:
Apps to Help You Stay Focused:
Freedom - Blocks distracting apps
Stay Focused - Limits your screen time
Sober - Tracks your sobriety down to the second
1:1 Momentum Building Sessions - Email pornfreemillennialcoaching@gmail.com for a free consultation.
Closing Remarks: Stay by the Fire
My mentor, Vern Tompke (host of Finding Traction and Pastors on Porn podcasts), recently reminded me to “stay by the fire”—to keep close to what’s real, nourishing, and life-giving. This week, ask yourself, “Am I staying close to the fire?” as you stoke that fire within.
Be well, keep your inner fire lit, and keep fighting the good fight!
