Our Moments Matter
The Break Free Weekly Newsletter - Edition #19
This week’s newsletter is coming to you courtesy of the Nashville, TN airport in between connecting flights from Fort Lauderdale, FL to Denver, CO. As I am writing now, delicious drip coffee is being sipped while I bask in the sun. Feeling calm and content.
I had a great 4-day weekend with my best friends, with most of our short time together spent fishing on the ocean. Not a bad way to spend a few days and unplug for a bit for the hustle and the bustle of work as well as the furious schedule I’ve been on with my publication and podcast.
Trips like these always remind me that its necessary to detach from the digital realm and to immerse in the natural. Floating on the ocean, with a fishing rod in hand and constant banter with my buds is a harmonious reality to tap into and it helps clear the mind of any clogs of anxiety. It’s also a reminder that I can find these moments every day and that it doesn’t take a big trip to find that inner peace and quiet. I think investing more time in those moments for me this year will be critical.
Speaking of moments, there were times during the trip when I reflected back on my past thought processes on trips like these where the whole goal was to detach from “reality” for a weekend or a week and understanding that I had it all wrong.
While it is healthy and is recommended to take breaks from our normal routines to travel and to change our environments, I do think that there’s truth to the perspective that most of us can get in the mode of seeing our lives as mundane, as if each weekday is groundhog day and we only have our weekends or vacations to truly be ourselves or to be a different person.
The important thing is that moments like time in nature or just intentionally taking a breath during the weekday are a part of our “reality” and each moment matters. We can’t take any of our moments for granted or waste them away trying to find escapes.
In trips like these in the past, I’d have moments where I would sneak off to consume porn or at least think about it, letting the intrusive thought steal from the serenity that was right in front of me. Or if it wasn’t porn, perhaps I would have too many drinks, clouding the otherwise clear consciousness that was ready to embrace the experience.
I look back at those memories as moments missed as I wasn’t truly in the present, the gift of clarity not fully received, an incomplete sense of fulfillment → a missed opportunity to complete the full circle of contentment.
As I think about my current reality and how my love for writing and creating is growing, I think I also need to be mindful of finding the healthy balance and to enjoy more of my moments, no matter what setting I am in or what day it is.
I hope that this week and moving forward, you can have those moments of harmony, bliss, reflection, and connection.
The articles linked below were quick reflections I jotted down last summer about how watching porn before or after intimacy (or an experience like a vacation, time with friends, a blissful moment, etc) can contaminate the moment, poisoning what was a pure feeling of inner peace, connection, or intimacy with shame, confusion, pain, and anxiety because of my choice to prioritize a fleeting feeling over an eternal experience.
As you read, think if this has applied to you before and what actions you can take this week to break out of the ritual so that you can enjoy your moments when they are happening and be able to look back at those memories with a clear sense of fondness.
The Pre-Game
The moment of passion, bodies tangled in a loving constriction.
Squeezing, pulsing, throbbing in a tender embrace of vulnerable magnetism.
The fight from this morning forgotten.
The long day at work, a distant memory.
The only focus is his partner in the dance.
And like any great song, the music eventually crescendos and then ends.
Laying in the bed after this dance, there’s a somber tone, at least in his heart.
For all of all the vulnerability that was displayed through the rhythm of his body, there still were secrets he held close.
As his partner squeezes him in bliss and places her head on his chest, he stares up at the ceiling and asks “When am I going to tell her? How am I going to tell her? Am I going to tell her?”
His racing thoughts interrupted as she whispers, “I love you” with him responding in a quieter tone, “I love you too”.
In place of a flutter in his heart, is a shudder of shame.
For he knows, her heart will break once again.
For he danced with many partners hours before.
The Pre-Game partners of Porn.
The Nightcap
An intimate feast with your beautiful date.
The flavor of each other’s passion salivating the senses.
The essence of the lovers entices the mind and the body into a firm embrace.
Like a fine steak after it is finished, the couple is full and satiated.
Or at least one is.
After she falls asleep, her partner slowly slips out of bed, not to wake her.
While the steak tasted great, his mind has already locked into his next meal.
Something tasty, something easy, something intoxicating, something he knows he shouldn’t have but desires nonetheless.
A bag of chips hidden in the dark corner of the pantry.
His secret spot.
A decadent delight.
The first salty crisp pulls him into a dopamine daze.
One chip leads to two, two to three, three to many.
Never quite full, always looking for one more chip until the bag is empty.
What he thought would provide satisfaction, only made him feel aches and bloat.
Shame slices at his heart as he knows that the experience with his woman was more than enough and should have been his last taste of flavor for the night.
But the deed has been done. The pull of the potato chip too strong for his will.
“This will be last time”, he solemnly swears.
But he knows it is an empty promise.
Like his deed, the empty bag is buried in a tomb of secrecy.
As he gets into bed, feeling the regret of the meal. The only solace the man feels is that the chips are gone and that he can start fresh tomorrow without the pain of the truth to affect his partner’s experience.
After racing thoughts, the man succumbs to sleep.
He wakes to an empty bed.
Feeling the weight of last night snack, he lumbers slowly to open the door and sees his woman.
Her face is distraught and is swollen with tears, holding the empty bag of chips.
“You had crumbs on your shirt again”.
Featured Articles & Video
👉 I wrote in my other publication about my Dad’s timeless mantra of “Shoot to Make It”. As a my childhood basketball coach, my Dad he’d tell me and other other kids this mantra to get us reconnected to being in the moment and acting with intention. I can’t remember a time where we didn’t play better basketball after he’d say this motto. As I grew older, this has applied more and more to how I think of the moments of my life, why I need to be intentional, why I need to “shoot to make it”.
✍️ A Porn Free Millennial poem about missing moments.
🎙️This podcast clip dives deep into advice on how to move towards embracing the moments in life vs just focusing on avoiding porn.
Community Spotlight
If you haven’t checked out yet, you need to! Tim is a recovered food addict, ex-binge eater, and Primal Health Coach who helps men and women find a clear, compassionate, no-bullsh*t path toward a radically healthy and happy life.
We had a great discussion last week that weaved in the concepts of addiction’s comment pitfalls as well as ways to overcome those challenges.
Check it out!
Building Momentum
52 Weeks of Freedom Series: Welcome to 2025, the year of Undivided Triumph! I'm dedicated to helping you achieve a porn-free year with a structured, week-by-week plan, a post each Friday this year, that builds a strong foundation for your future.
Join the Journey: Start with Week 1 - The Year Ahead – Recognizing the Problem and become part of the Porn Free Millennial community committed to breaking free from porn addiction.
Reflection
Additional Resources
Book of the Month that I am currently reading: Atomic Habits by James Clear
Porn Free Millennial Podcast of the Week:
🎙️This podcast episode dives deep into 3 gifts of sobriety that I have experienced on my journey.
22. My 3 Gifts of Sobriety
I am aiming to podcast once a week and for more content, see the links below:
Apps to Help You Stay Focused On Your Recovery:
Freedom - Blocks distracting apps
Stay Focused - Limits your screen time
I am Sober - Tracks your sobriety down to the second
Are you feeling stuck in the cycle of porn addiction and seeking a way out? My personal coaching sessions are designed to help you regain control, build momentum, and provide you the tools to live a life free from the destructive behavior of porn addiction.
Ready to take the first step?
Contact me at pornfreemillennialcoaching@gmail.com to schedule your initial free 30 minute session or to learn more about how I can help you on your journey to freedom.
Challenge for the Week
Take time this week to think about or even write down frequent (or currently infrequent) activities, hobbies, passions, physical environments that bring you moments of peace and bliss.
Once you think about this and reflect on it. Aim to implement on of these things into your day this week if you are not already and reflect on how that affected your mind-state.
Closing Remarks: Inner Peace is Not Overrated
At times, the self-care/meditation/mental health sphere can become saturated with everyone’s advice for you, which can ironically cause more burnout and distress. This sentiment can also lead to feeling like this whole “inner peace” thing is overrated and unobtainable.
My advice to you is to reconnect with what brings you true peace, true harmony. If you feel a little lost in that department, have no fear, I have been there many times and still have times where I lose a little wind at my sails.
What helps snap me back into the moment and reality is reconnecting with my childish wonder and excitement for my experience, reconnecting with passions that have been with me, even if dormant, for so long.
I think when we were kids, there was a certain way that we connected with life that was pure and innocent and that as we grow, that sentiment can decay and sour if the mindset is discouraged and lost.
When I was able to reconnect with this yearning feeling inside about two years ago, after divorce, it reinvigorated the truth that I knew all along → our moments matter.
Choose to make your moments matter this week and connect with the present!
— Mac
P.S. If this resonated with you, like this post and share it with someone who needs to hear it.
And if you have thoughts or questions, I’d love to hear from you → leave a comment or send me a message!
Keep fighting the good fight.
Break Free.
Be Free.
Stay Free.
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Love the analogy of cheating on the SO’s romantic dinner with that bag of chips. For the record I’ve done this, but I never got busted!
Thank you for the mention. You do good writing in airports.
"letting the intrusive thought steal from the serenity that was right in front of me."
Great statement!!
In '23, my cousin and I got a place together, in Utah. 3 mos later, I came right back to CA! I had lived well long enough to see, to feel misery tryin to pitch a tent in my Wellness Camp 🧠
F(_)q that sh!t!!!