🚨 Warning!!! These 6 Signs Show You’re Headed for Relapse 🚨
52 Weeks of Freedom - Week 10
This yearlong weekly journey is designed to help you break free from what I call the porn prison - a state of mental, emotional, and spiritual confinement caused by porn consumption. This prison traps individuals in cycles of shame, isolation, and disconnection, making it difficult to live a life of purpose and fulfillment.
Each Friday for the full year of 2025, I’ll dive into a key aspect of recovery, provide practical tools, and challenge you to take meaningful steps toward lasting freedom. Whether you’re just starting your journey or already working toward healing, this series offers encouragement, clarity, and structure to help you build and sustain a new, liberated identity.
🚨 Warning!!! These 6 Signs Show You’re Headed for Relapse 🚨
Relapse doesn’t happen in an instant, it’s a slow decline away from what’s working in your life.
Many people believe relapse is a sudden failure of willpower, but the truth is, it’s a process that happens gradually over time.
The good news? You can catch it before it happens.
If you’ve ever relapsed in the past, think back:
🔹 Did it happen out of nowhere?
🔹 Or were there warning signs you ignored?
This week, we’re diving deep into how to recognize those red flags before they escalate into a full relapse.
🚦 Last Week: FASTT Check-Ins – Your Daily Defense Against Relapse
In Week 9, I introduced FASTT Check-Ins, a simple but powerful tool to pause daily and assess your recovery health:
FASTT Check-In:
✅ F – Feelings: What emotions am I experiencing today?
✅ A – Activities in Recovery: What am I doing to actively work on my recovery?
✅ S – Sobriety: Am I maintaining my sobriety today?
✅ T – Threats to Sobriety: What obstacles or temptations am I facing?
✅ T – Tools to Combat the Threats: What healthy actions can I take to handle these challenges?
Why FASTT Matters:
By making FASTT check-ins a daily mental habit and part of your accountability practice, you’ll recognize red flags early, before they escalate.
But what if you start skipping check-ins? What if stress builds and you don’t deal with it?
That’s where F.A.S.T.E.R. comes in.
🚨 This Week: The F.A.S.T.E.R. Scale – Recognizing the Path to Relapse
The F.A.S.T.E.R. Relapse Awareness Scale, developed by Michael Dye and adapted in A Relapse Prevention Workbook for Addictive/Compulsive Behaviors, is designed to identify early warning signs of relapse.
It outlines six progressive stages with each one getting closer to relapse. The farther down you go, the harder it is to turn back.
🚦 Where are you on the scale today?
🚨 The 6 Stages of the F.A.S.T.E.R. Scale
🔹 F – Forgetting Priorities (Drifting from recovery habits and becoming distracted)
🔹 A – Anxiety (Fear, worry, and internal stress build up without being addressed)
🔹 S – Speeding Up (Overworking, overcommitting, and avoiding emotions)
🔹 T – Ticked Off (Frustration and anger take over, leading to isolation and resentment)
🔹 E – Exhausted (Burnout, emotional numbness, and hopelessness set in)
🔹 R – Relapse (Giving in to destructive habits and feeling shame, regret, and loss of control)
Each stage is a warning sign that you’re moving toward a full relapse.
The key is to catch yourself early and take action.
Understanding the F.A.S.T.E.R. Stages
1️⃣ Forgetting Priorities – The First Step Toward Relapse
At first, relapse is barely noticeable. You start skipping the small things that keep you strong.
Recovery stops being a priority, and you find excuses for why you’re “too busy” to check in, reflect, or stay engaged.
🔹 Avoiding recovery activities (reading, journaling, prayer, group meetings)
🔹 Overconfidence (“I’ve got this, I don’t need to check in”)
🔹 Rationalizing small compromises → making deals with your subconscious
🔹 Skipping accountability calls or meetings
🔹 Becoming less honest with yourself and others
🚨 Take Action:
Reconnect with Your "Why" → Remind yourself why you started this journey. What are you fighting for?
Use FASTT Check-ins → Specifically focus on Activities in Recovery. What have you been neglecting? Recommit immediately.
Tell on Yourself → Reach out to your accountability partner before isolation deepens. Don’t wait until you feel overwhelmed.
Re-establish Healthy Habits → If you’ve stopped journaling, working out, meditating, praying, reading, etc → start again today, even in a small way.
2️⃣ Anxiety – Fear & Stress Build Up
When recovery habits slip, fear and stress take over. Instead of dealing with emotions head-on, you push them away, letting them simmer beneath the surface.
🔹 Overthinking, perfectionism, people-pleasing
🔹 Trouble sleeping, racing thoughts
🔹 Using distractions (social media, Netflix, overworking)
🔹 Feeling overwhelmed but ignoring it
🔹 Procrastination on important tasks
🚨 Take Action:
Name the Fear → What exactly are you afraid of? Be specific. Writing it down reduces its power.
Breathe & Process → Use grounding techniques (deep breathing, stretching, walking outside) to reset your nervous system.
Talk It Out → Call a trusted friend or mentor → don’t carry the anxiety alone.
Lower the Bar → If perfectionism is creeping in, set smaller, achievable steps instead of waiting for the “perfect” time. Competency before excellence.
3️⃣ Speeding Up – Overworking to Avoid Emotions
Instead of addressing underlying stress, you overload your schedule to avoid thinking or feeling. You might be highly productive, but it’s a distraction tactic, and eventually, you burn out.
🔹 Always rushing, overcommitting
🔹 Using busyness to avoid difficult emotions
🔹 Binge eating, excessive caffeine
🔹 Feeling disconnected from yourself → something feels “off” but you can’t pinpoint why
🚨 Take Action:
Create Space for Stillness → Stop for 5 minutes today. Put your phone down, turn off all distractions, and just sit.
Change Your Physical State → Move your body, go outside, stretch → physically slow down to mentally slow down.
Schedule Real Rest → Put intentional recovery time in your calendar (not just downtime filled with more distractions).
Ask: What Am I Avoiding? → Journal or reflect: What am I running from? Facing it is the first step.
4️⃣ Ticked Off – Anger & Frustration Take Over
When stress builds without an outlet, it erupts into anger. Instead of addressing the root issue, you lash out, blame, or withdraw from people who care about you.
🔹 Black-and-white thinking (“All or nothing”)
🔹 Defensiveness, blaming others
🔹 Resentment toward accountability partners or support systems
🔹 Avoiding people who challenge you to be better
🔹 Passive-aggressive or self-sabotaging behavior
🚨 Take Action:
Own Your Emotions → Recognize that anger is often a secondary emotion masking hurt, fear, or exhaustion. What’s really going on?
Release the Energy in a Healthy Way → Try a physical activity (lifting weights, going for a run, hitting a punching bag).
Don’t Let Resentment Fester → Have an honest conversation with the person you’re angry at (even if that person is yourself).
Reframe the Story → Ask: Am I interpreting this situation fairly? Is my anger based on assumptions or past wounds?
5️⃣ Exhausted – Burnout, Emotional Numbness, & Hopelessness
At this stage, your emotional reserves are drained. You feel like you just don’t care anymore. The exhaustion is mental, emotional, and physical.
🔹 Feeling numb, hopeless, or drained
🔹 Losing motivation for recovery
🔹 Intense cravings for old coping mechanisms
🔹 Sleeping too much or too little
🔹 Feeling like “nothing matters”
🚨 Take Action:
Stop Everything & Reset → If you’re pushing too hard, step back. Take a full rest day if needed. Recovery requires sustainable energy.
Nourish Your Body & Mind → Prioritize nutrition, hydration, and quality sleep → your body affects your emotions.
Talk to Someone Who Can Encourage You → When you feel like isolating, do the opposite. Let someone remind you that you are not alone.
Make One Simple Goal for Today → Just one. Maybe it’s drinking more water, going outside for a quick walk, leaving the phone in the other room for 30 mins, or reaching out to a friend with a quick text. Small wins rebuild momentum.
6️⃣ Relapse – The Final Stage
At this point, you feel like you’ve lost control and are teetering on the edge of relapse, or have already crossed the line. Shame, guilt, and regret lock you in isolation, making it harder to reach out for help.
🔹Watching triggering content, testing boundaries before crossing the line
🔹 Feeling defeated, avoiding accountability
🔹 Shame, guilt, and isolation
But here’s the truth:
🚦 Just because you've been crossing boundaries doesn’t mean you have to run the red light into oncoming traffic.
🚦 You still have time to stop, turn around, and protect yourself.
🚨 LAST-CHANCE INTERVENTIONS BEFORE RELAPSE
Even if you’ve gone too far, you can still stop before fully acting out.
Here are powerful last-ditch strategies you can use in the heat of the moment:
🔴 FaceTime or Call Your Accountability Partner Right Now → Get out of your head and into reality. Tell them exactly what’s happening.
🔴 Get Out Somewhere Public → Physically remove yourself from isolation. A coffee shop, a grocery store, even a walk outside → just get around other people.
🔴 Remove Yourself From Your Device → If your phone or computer is the problem, walk away. Put it in another room, go outside, or turn it off completely.
🔴 Blast Inspirational Music or a Podcast You Love → Interrupt your thought cycle by flooding your mind with truth and encouragement.
🔴 Drop & Do 20 Pushup, Take a Cold Shower (or Any Physical Action) → Shock your system out of autopilot. The goal is to create space between impulse and action.
🔴 Journal or Pray, Even If You Don’t Feel Like It → Writing or speaking words out shifts you from emotional reactivity to intentionality.
🚦 The more time and space you create, the more control you regain.
🚨 Take Action After Relapse:
If you’ve already crossed the line, you don’t have to stay there.
✅ Don’t Let Shame Win → The biggest mistake is staying silent. The longer you wait, the harder it is to bounce back. Tell someone today, whether you’re about to relapse or you already have.
✅ Reflect, Don’t Spiral → Ask: What led up to this relapse? Recognizing the progression helps prevent future slips.
✅ Reaffirm Your Identity → You are not your worst moment. A relapse doesn’t define you. Recovery is about learning and growing, not perfection.
✅ Rebuild Immediately → Recommit to FASTT check-ins, accountability, and your core habits. The sooner you get back on track, the less power this relapse has.
Relapse is Not an Event, It’s a Process
Each step on the F.A.S.T.E.R. Scale is a warning sign, the earlier you recognize it, the easier it is to correct course. The more you implement this mindset, the more confident you will be in staying on track in your pursuit of freedom.
🚦 Even if you’ve crossed lines, you can still stop before going further.
🚦 Even if you’ve relapsed, you can still turn back.
🚦The moment you reach out, the moment you step back into accountability, the relapse cycle is broken.
You don’t have to do this alone.
WEEKEND CHALLENGE: Deep Dive into the F.A.S.T.E.R. Scale
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