The Break Free Weekly Newsletter - Edition #8
Lonely Fans
Opening Remarks: Lonely Fans
Last week, social media and news outlets were buzzing with the story of an OnlyFans model, Lily Phillips, who filmed a documentary detailing her decision to sleep with 100 men in one day.
The viral video of her after filming hit the headlines: tears streaming from her exhausted face, her eyes void of emotion. This image has taken the internet by storm.
“It’s not for the weak, girls, if I’m honest,” she said. “It was hard... I do not know if I’d recommend it. It’s kind of like being a prostitute in the sense that, like, it’s just a different feeling.”
If these words aren’t tone-deaf and tragic enough, consider this: Lily’s mother is her financial manager. Let that sink in.
All around, this is a completely abhorrent situation. A moral failure by Lily, the men involved, her team, and all those who have promoted or consumed this video - a true stain on society.
So, what do I have to say about it?
I don’t think the act of watching porn is that far removed from this spectacle.
There’s a justification that many men use to validate their behavior as less egregious: At least I’m not doing that. But let’s be honest - this is a weak excuse.
When we watch porn, we’re not the 100th guy sleeping with that woman. We’re more like the millionth guy, watching a man sleep with that woman. And to me, that’s just as sad, tragic, and lonely.
We’re living in a world of lonely fans. Lonely men. Lonely women. Outsourcing the true gift of sex to online strangers - either as the prostitute or as the john. Either receiving or initiating the transaction of attention in exchange for the fleeting power of pride.
And what is left in the wake?
A void.
A void in virtue.
A void in intimacy.
A void in truth.
A void in joy.
A void in dignity.
A void in faith.
A void.
I’ve felt this void many times in my life, and it is a terrible state of being.
Like this situation with Lily Phillips, when we see the “meal” set before us, we don’t mind being the 100th person in line to take a bite of the forbidden fruit. But once that fruit is bitten, we are rightfully cast out of the Garden of Eden. We disobey our God, our values, our purpose, and our virtue—ripping open the void.
So how do we combat this void?
We must seek our higher power instead of making excuses and half-wagers.
We must hold ourselves and other men accountable to the truth: None of this is right. None of this is acceptable.
We must break the chains of porn from our lives and encourage others to do the same.
No more lonely fans.
Featured Articles
Lily Phillips and the Spreadsheet Egregore by
“It’s not fashionable these days to talk about a man “possessing” a woman in the context of a sexual encounter. But I was reminded of that word - possession - in the context of the now-notorious stunt by OnlyFans pornographer Lily Phillips, in which she had sex with 100 men in 24 hours.”
The Siren Song by PFM
“Divorce, depression, desperation - these weren’t just random occurrences. They were the inevitable outcomes of ignoring my values and following temptation into places I should never have gone.”
The Slow Poison of Endless Fantasy
Porn is the promise of endless fantasy but it actually is the slow drip of poison.
Practical Tips: Child of God
Super easy. Whenever you see someone attractive online or in-person that is tempting you to relapse on your sobriety - acknowledge them as a Child of God. This simple practice deconstructs on of the main tools of the addiction - dehumanization/sexual objectification.
When we choose to reduce a person down to a sexual object - we strip away their humanity, their soul.
Community Spotlight
This is what it is all about! We need to keep sharing our stories and our victories! Thanks Syngle Economycs for sharing.
“I’m encouraged to see you and others talking about this. Many men struggle with porn without realizing that it hurts them and limits their ability to truly connect with others."
Reflection
One Day at a Time. Don’t overcomplicate recovery. Recovery is not separate from our life, it is our life - the life of redemption and of conquering challenges.
Additional Resources
Book of the Month that I am currently reading
Takedown: Inside the Fight to Shut Down Pornhub for Child Abuse, Rape, and Sex Trafficking by Laila Micklewait
Porn Free Millennial Podcast of the Week:
30. The Porn Free Millennial Story
Episode Overview: In this powerful and deeply personal episode of the Porn Free Millennial Podcast, I sit down with Diana and Will, the passionate duo behind the CatholicX Spaces Community on X, to share my story—a journey from my first exposure to pornography to where I am today: living a life free from its grip.
Apps to Help You Stay Focused On Your Recovery:
Freedom - Blocks distracting apps
Stay Focused - Limits your screen time
I am Sober - Tracks your sobriety down to the second
1:1 Momentum Building Sessions
Are you feeling stuck on your journey to living a porn-free life? Do you want personalized guidance to help you take the next step toward freedom? Sometimes, breaking the cycle requires more than just willpower—it requires a plan, tailored to you.
That’s why I’m offering 1:1 Momentum Building Sessions—personalized coaching designed to help you identify the obstacles holding you back, set actionable goals, and build the momentum you need to move forward.
This isn’t about generic advice - it’s about working together to create a strategy that fits your life, your challenges, and your strengths. Whether you’re struggling to take the first step or you’ve hit a plateau in your progress, these sessions can help you regain focus and reignite your drive.
Ready to take the next step? I’m offering a free 30-minute consultation to explore your goals, challenges, and how coaching can support your journey.
📧 Email me at pornfreemillennialcoaching@gmail.com to schedule your free consultation.
Let’s work together to help you live the life you were meant for - stronger, healthier, and free.
Closing Remarks: Porn is eliminates the human dimension of dignity
"There is no dignity when the human dimension is eliminated from the person. In short, the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it shows far too little."
-St. John Paul II
