The Ace Up My Sleeve: Using Poker Wisdom to Overcome Porn Use

Mastering the Artform of Knowing When to Hold 'Em or When to Fold 'Em

I write now from an exhausted state both physically and mentally.

Days like today would normally be a struggle for me and that’s why I am going to talk about a poker analogy that helps me keep to a winning strategy on a day-to-day basis.

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For reference, a little background on my life recently and why I feel exhausted.

My summer has been filled with 4,000 miles of travel in my RV motorhome and while fulfilling, it’s also been jarring, expensive, and energy consuming.

The beauty of the nomadic lifestyle is that you can live in many different settings and for me, it’s been healing for the soul being able to see family and friends across the country this summer as well as getting outside regularly on my electric bike and kayak.

The downside of this lifestyle is that it’s hard to maintain a daily routine (like going to the gym, getting groceries, or sleeping in a static place) and there’s constant changes in scenery and expectations. This a nuance in my life. Living this way since March of 2023. Besides the constant changes, this lifestyle also can be constant reminder of my divorce that finalized last year which was the catalyst for this decision.

Overall, it’s been a positive and needed experience post-divorce to live this way but it still has taken some getting used to as I balance my finances and daily activities with the call of travel and adventure.

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I’ve noticed throughout this new lifestyle that I constantly am yearning for a “normal” routine, leaning on my past life of being a married homeowner as my guide.

I’m slowly turning the corner on the realization that the focus on having a “normal” routine was creating excess stress in my life. Almost like expecting every hand to be the perfect pair of cards instead of living one hand at a time, one day at a time.

In the past, I used to relapse in the past with porn when my routine was off.

When I was caught in the addictive cycle of porn use, I was at the internet casino and used to gamble my day away, forgetting the wise words of Kenny Rogers: 'know when to hold 'em, when to fold 'em, when to walk away, or when to run.'

When the deck I had laid out for the day wasn’t shuffled right and I didn’t get the hand I was hoping for, I’d turn in the cards for the slot machine.

Instead of investing in the safe bet of a sober day, I’d opt for a cheap dopamine pump and dump by scrolling endlessly and pulling that lever.

In the end, like any addicted gambler, I would always feel empty and hooked to the belief that the next time on the internet would be different.

It’s a terrible feeling and I’ve been there many times in my life.

I almost feel like an expert at it.

With more than 10,000 hours of that hopeless misery, I could teach a master class.

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To me, when we gamble away our days, we start to rack up debt. Not just a potential monetary debt (in my case, divorce), but more of a spiritual debt of shame, regret, and a constant feeling that you are not free.

When we choose the slot machine today, we create spiritual debt tomorrow which only encourages the gamble to continue. We feel like the only way to get out of it is to gamble until we have nothing (rock bottom) and for some, like me, that was the case.

The cheap thrill never will reward like the righteous way will.

The way to stay safe is to work with the hand you get for the day and to make a smart decision.

Somedays, we just need to fold our hand or just leave the game.

For me, those days are days like today where I am feeling tired and exhausted. Days like today are a higher risk to fall into bad habits and to place a bad bet.

On days like today, I know that it’s really important for me to stay off my phone and laptop because I don’t have a great hand.

If I am feeling incredibly off, it may just be better to just turn in the day early and focus on getting some great sleep, leaving the casino all together.

Sleeping a full 8 hours vs staying up another 2 hours scrolling on my phone, what is a better bet?

Somedays, we do get a great hand and it’s important to stay in the game.

There are days, more often than not luckily, where I wake up and I feel like I’ve got pocket Aces or a pair of Kings and that I can safely have a seat at the table while online.

These are days where I will leverage the internet and my creative mind more to my advantage to gain knowledge and to make content.

These are hands where I know that I have a high probability of winning the day and I will take advantage of it.

The more I win through strategic and smart bets, the more time I can allow myself in this casino of creativity and information.

But the minute I find myself betting more than I should and bluffing when I have a poor pair of cards, in this matured state of sobriety, I can pick up my chips for the day and cash out instead of leaving empty-handed or even in debt.

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Odds are if you are reading this, you may need to readjust your strategy and build your confidence.

Like poker, skill can outmatch will, and the more you can enhance your skills keeping your online environment a safe bet, the more you will enjoy playing the game.

If your environment is not safe, I would urge you to avoid the casino until you have the confidence and the proper mindset to enter.

And lastly, when in doubt, odds are that the house always wins so don’t stretch your luck.

In the end, knowing when to walk away or when to stay ensures that you finish your day with a win, on your own terms.

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For more content, check out my Podcast Porn Free Millennial on Spotify and Apple as well as my X account @mac_nomadic.

Keep fighting the good fight!