Stop Saying Sorry
The Break Free Weekly Newsletter - Edition #31
I used to think “sorry” was the magic word that could fix anything.
The antidote to broken trust.
The tissue to absorb the pain.
The wire cutters to disarm the emotional bomb before it went off.
And in some ways, I wasn’t wrong.
A real apology can be powerful.
It can be the start of healing, accountability, and even reconciliation.
That’s how I was raised in Catholic school, where “sorry” came with a few Hail Marys and an Our Father.
Easy confession. Easy repentance.
Back then, I said sorry when I was clearly in the wrong and oftentimes, with the firm recommendation of either a teacher or my parents → mean words, selfish actions, the obvious stuff.
My developing moral compass was simple → if I hurt someone, I apologized.
But as I grew older and life became more serious, I had a rude awakening.
Sorry didn’t mean what I thought it did.
Especially when it came from the lips of a man caught in a cycle of deception.
That awakening happened in my past marriage, where I repeatedly lied about my porn use.
And the only thing I ever offered her was the same word, over and over again:
“Sorry.”
I’m sorry that I hurt you.
I’m sorry for looking at porn.
I’m sorry for lying to you.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
Each sorry bought me a flicker of time…until the next one came tumbling out, slowly stoking the devastating flames at the foundations of my self-image.
And over-time and my static inner development, the apologies started to rot.
Sorry turned sour.
Instead of showing remorse, I got defensive.
Instead of taking action, I deflected.
Instead of telling the truth, I gaslit.
I failed to realize that I didn’t even understand what I was sorry for because I didn’t yet understand why I was watching porn in the first place or why I couldn’t stop.
While each sorry chipped away at my core perception of the man I thought I was,
those very layers of destruction began to stir something a quiet resurrection.
It began in late 2018, when I finally stepped into recovery.
With recovery came language, new words, new truths.
A breath of life into the dormant definitions of who a man of honor truly and a sobering look at where I had fallen short.
It took me almost 20 years, but I started to finally understand that apologies were completely void upon utterance.
There was a lack of understanding why I was sorry and what harm my actions actually were causing.
I broke trust.
I committed adultery.
I prioritized my sexual satisfaction over the well-being of my bride.
I lied like a coward.
I hid like a boy.
I failed her.
I failed myself.
I wasn’t the man I thought I was.
I didn’t listen to her pleas and didn’t accept her grace.
I chose the harmful road of convenient comforts instead of the hard road of freedom.
I broke my oath as a husband.
I sinned with a reckless fervor, voraciously burying my torment inward to sink my soul to where I thought it should suffocate.
I didn’t listen to my childhood faith of forgiveness, I turned my back on my King.
I used the word sorry as an easy out, a coward’s retreat into mediocrity of pity and shame.
I sapped my own strength with my own hand.
I stripped my power as they stripped down for me.
I vacated my dignity because I lacked the courage, the conviction to become a man.
I became a sorry man who’s only words were a sorry excuse.
This all changed when I stopped saying sorry.
I stopped saying sorry when I started working to make things right and to provide evidence of my work.
I stopped saying sorry when I introduced real accountability into my life → partners, coaches, software, therapy, church group → accountability.
I stopped saying sorry when I uncovered the deep traumas in my life that I have been trying to numb and escape from since childhood.
I stopped saying sorry when I began to write and speak up about the cultural cyanide pill in every present and future relationships that values trust and respect → porn.
I stopped saying sorry when I actually made the amends to the one I hurt the most and to those shelled with the collateral damage.
I stopped saying sorry when I make a daily commitment to live a new life, a life of meaning and fulfillment.
I stopped saying sorry when I stopped consuming porn.
I stopped saying sorry when I stopped hurting others.
I stopped saying sorry when I forgave myself.
I stopped saying sorry when I accepted grace.
I stopped saying sorry.
I encourage you to stop saying sorry.
Don’t Ruin Your Life
👉 Guest Article: How to Forgive Your Parents for Ruining Your Life by
We learn to say “sorry” young and oftentimes weren’t taught how to give a proper apology. But when it comes to deep childhood wounds, sorry isn’t enough. In this brutally honest piece, Tim Ebl confronts the damage his parents caused → and how he learned to stop blaming, start healing, and break the cycle for good. If you’ve ever carried the weight of your upbringing into adulthood, this is your invitation to finally put the baggage down. Forgiveness isn't letting them off the hook, it's letting yourself out of a prison.
✍️ This Porn Free Millennial poem is a reflection on my past performances.
🎙️Podcast Clip: Dr. and I break the illusion of porn’s control on our lives.
Community Spotlight:
offers a grounded voice of reason and compassion when it comes to protecting kids from porn. If you're a parent seeking lasting wisdom on how to safeguard your children → and have empathetic, healing conversations with them → don’t miss her article below.
52 Weeks of Freedom Series
52 Weeks of Freedom Series: Welcome to 2025, the year of Undivided Triumph! I'm dedicated to helping you achieve a porn-free year with a structured, week-by-week plan, a post each Friday this year, that builds a strong foundation for your future.
Join the Journey: Start with Week 1 - The Year Ahead – Recognizing the Problem and become part of the Porn Free Millennial community committed to breaking free from porn addiction.
For the whole collection - see this section of my publication.
Reflection
Additional Resources
Book of the Month that I am currently reading:
Right Thing, Right Now by Ryan Holiday
Porn Free Millennial Podcast of the Week:
Apps to Help You Stay Focused On Your Recovery:
Ever Accountable - I am proud to be partnering with the Accountability App Ever Accountable. Through my partnership, I can provide a 20% discount. Click the links for details!
Freedom - Blocks distracting apps
Stay Focused - Limits your screen time
I am Sober - Tracks your sobriety down to the second
1:1 Momentum Coaching
💬 What You’ll Get from Coaching with Me
🔥 A Personalized Roadmap to Freedom
Tailored to your story and goals → we’ll work to uncover the root of your struggle, and strategize how to shift your identity toward freedom.
🚀 Momentum That Lasts
You don’t need more willpower → you need systems, habits, and a mindset built for freedom.
🛡️ A Judgment-Free Zone
This is a safe space for honesty and healing → zero shame, all support.
📈 Accountability That Works
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If you are ready to take your recovery to the next level - message me and we will set-up a free 30-minute consultation to discuss where you are currently at with your recovery and where you want to be.
🛠 Weekly Challenge: Trade Apologies for Action
This week, catch yourself every time you’re about to say “sorry” for something you’ve repeatedly done or for something that doesn't actually require an apology.
Instead of saying “I’m sorry,” ask:
→ What can I do to make this right?
→ What action can I take to show growth?Choose one area in your life where you’ve used apologies as a crutch.
→ Replace it with real, visible accountability → whether that’s a conversation, a habit change, or finally getting honest with someone.
Remember: Healing begins with a decision. This week, stop saying sorry.
Start becoming whole.
Closing Thoughts: Sorry Has its Place
“Sorry” has its place, but it’s not the foundation of transformation.
True change is built on action, integrity, and the daily decision to live differently.
If you’ve spent years trapped in a cycle of apology without progress, let this be your wake-up call.
You don’t need to say sorry one more time, you need to become someone who no longer has to.
The past may explain you, but it doesn’t have to define you.
This week, choose change.
Choose responsibility.
Choose freedom.
Much Love,
Mac
Break Free.
Stay Free.
Be Free.
Keep fighting the good fight!
P.S. If this resonated with you, like this post and share it with someone who needs to hear it.
And if you have thoughts or questions, I’d love to hear from you, leave a comment or send me a message!
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Personal Coaching: A Path to Freedom
Are you feeling stuck in the cycle of porn addiction and seeking a way out? My personal coaching sessions are designed to help you regain control, build momentum, and provide you the tools to live a life free from the destructive behavior of porn addiction.
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Let’s thrive together and break the chains that bind us!
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Substack: Explore my fictional writings on Mac’s Musings Substack.
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Powerful man. Stop saying sorry. Start by forgiving yourself
You are so right. Sorry is just a word. By itself, meaningless. We all know that actions speak louder than words. When we mess up, of course, we have to let the people involved know that we caused grief. And then we need to make up for it somehow, moving forward with intention.