Remember Your Role & Leave a Legacy
52 Weeks of Freedom - Week 13
This yearlong weekly journey is designed to help you break free from what I call the porn prison - a state of mental, emotional, and spiritual confinement caused by porn consumption. This prison traps individuals in cycles of shame, isolation, and disconnection, making it difficult to live a life of purpose and fulfillment.
Each Friday for the full year of 2025, I’ll dive into a key aspect of recovery, provide practical tools, and challenge you to take meaningful steps toward lasting freedom. Whether you’re just starting your journey or already working toward healing, this series offers encouragement, clarity, and structure to help you build and sustain a new, liberated identity.
Remember Your Role & Leave a Legacy
If you're struggling to build momentum in living a life free of porn, the odds are you're either:
Chasing a motivation that sounds good but doesn’t ring true for you, or
You haven’t yet fused your motivation into the foundation of your identity.
In my six years of active recovery, I’ve learned that surface-level motivations will crack under pressure. You need something deeper, something rooted in who you are, not just what you want.
A Past Motivation That Couldn’t Last
During my past marriage, I was motivated to stop the hurt I was inflicting on my wife not just through the consumption of porn, but the lying about it. I had already inflicted great pain so this motivation helped me establish longer streaks of sobriety, especially leading into 2021 where I was nearing two years clean. But over time, I got too comfortable. I slipped, crossed a line, and held onto the secret → an old and terrible pattern I thought I’d buried.
That relapse reopened wounds I thought were healing. It shattered our intimacy, broke trust, and ultimately, ended our marriage.
In the wake of that, I spiraled. Without a marriage, without a partner to be accountable to, I found myself asking → What’s the point of staying sober?
I let shame take control again. And the cyclical use and abuse initiated.
What Changed?
Before my divorce was even finalized, my Grandma, our family’s rock, was hospitalized on Valentine’s Day. She passed away not long after.
We called her Saint Ann. She was patient, kind, and devoted to her family. I had the honor of curating her life into a tribute film after the funeral. Sorting through hundreds of photos, I saw the kind of legacy she left behind. Nearly every picture had her smiling with someone (normally with a baby or child on her lap) → loving, supporting, giving. She lived fully and poured herself out for others.
She made an impact.
She left a legacy.
She was a role model.
And in that moment, I remembered who I was supposed to be.
Rediscovering the Role Model Within
When my grandma entered the hospital, something clicked in my little brother and me. We made a pact to be each other’s accountability partners. We’ve checked in nearly every day since. We’re walking the recovery path together → encouraging, challenging, and strengthening each other. Our bond as brothers was always strong, but this journey? It’s brought us even closer and has elevated our ability to be men of integrity.
For my older sister, I think about her strength every day. A mother of four, holding down a full-time job, showing up for her kids and husband with grit and grace. I want to be a man of integrity not just for me, but for the next generation → her kids, my niece and nephews. I want to plant seeds now that become shade trees for them later when that eventual day comes when porn finds its way into their lives.
And then there’s my little sister. Like all of us, she’s been through her own fire. But over the past two years, something beautiful has unfolded, she’s opened up to me more than ever before. I think my vulnerability about my own struggles created a safe space for that. And now? We’ve been walking alcohol sobriety together for almost four months. I’m so proud of her.
The role I play now → as an encourager, as an empowerer → fuels my mission.
It adds meaning.
It fuels the fire when it is losing heat.
This isn’t just about quitting porn.
It’s about becoming someone worth following.
Someone worth trusting.
Someone worth remembering.
Someone who made an impact.
A Deeper Motivation
Of course, this journey always starts with you. You can’t quit for someone else. You have to know why you need to break free and what’s at stake if you don’t.
Because there is a cost to:
Your integrity.
Your relationships.
Your future.
So ask yourself:
What would it look like to be someone your kids, siblings, friends, family, girlfriend, wife looked up to?
What would it take to leave behind a legacy worth remembering?
Who could you become if you walked the walk → not perfectly, but faithfully?
You don’t have to be perfect to be a role model.
You just have to be honest, willing, and committed.
And that kind of motivation? That can change everything.
Remember your role and started living into it.
Building Momentum & Breaking Free
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🔒 Weekend Challenge: Step Into Your Role
Who Are You to Them? Who Are You Becoming?
This weekend, I want to challenge you to remember your role and start intentionally living into it.
🔥 Part 1: Reflect
Journal on this prompt:
“Who am I to the people in my life right now… and who do I want to become for them?”
Think about those who are closest to you:
Where are you already being a role model?
Where are you being passive or silent when you could be leading?
Write freely. Be honest. No filters.
🛠️ Part 2: Identify
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