It Ain't My Fault: Facing the Music & Accepting Accountability

52 Weeks of Freedom - Week 8

This yearlong weekly journey is designed to help you break free from what I call the porn prison - a state of mental, emotional, and spiritual confinement caused by porn consumption. This prison traps individuals in cycles of shame, isolation, and disconnection, making it difficult to live a life of purpose and fulfillment.

Each Friday for the full year of 2025, I’ll dive into a key aspect of recovery, provide practical tools, and challenge you to take meaningful steps toward lasting freedom. Whether you’re just starting your journey or already working toward healing, this series offers encouragement, clarity, and structure to help you build and sustain a new, liberated identity.

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It Ain't My Fault: Facing the Music & Accepting Accountability

Hey, it’s my old theme song “It Ain’t My Fault”.

My old anthem of lying and gaslighting.

My favorite past-time, the blame game.

Blaming it all on something else or someone else…Sound familiar?

Listen to and read the lyrics from the hit song "It Ain't My Fault" by the Brothers Osborne and see if any of this sounds like you. They sure reminded me of me.

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Facing the Music

Blame the whiskey on the beer
Blame the beer on the whiskey
Blame the mornin' on the night
For whose lyin' here with me
Blame the bar for the band 
Blame the band for the song
Blame the song for the party that went all night long

But it ain't my fault
No it ain't my fault
Mighta had a little fun
Lotta wrong I'd done
But it ain’t my fault

Blame the heart for the hurtin'
Blame the hurtin' on the heart
Blame the dark on the devil
Blame the devil on the dark
Blame the ex for the drinkin'
Blame the drinkin' for the ex
Blame the two for one tequila's for whatever happens next

But it ain't my fault
No it ain't my fault
Mighta had a little fun
Lotta wrong I'd done
But it ain't my fault

I got my hands up 
I need an alibi
Find me a witness who can testify
You made a mistake
You got the wrong guy
I'm only guilty of a damn good time
No it ain't my fault

Blame my reason on my name
Blame my name on my reason
Blame my lack of knowing better on public education
Blame smoke on the fire 
Blame fire on the smoke
Blame the fight on the bouncer that couldn't take a joke
But it ain't my fault

I got my hands up 
I need an alibi
Find me a witness who can testify
You made a mistake
You got the wrong guy
I'm only guilty of a damn good time

No it ain't my fault
No it ain't my fault
No it ain't my fault

For me this game was played to cover up my glaring porn addiction.

For you, maybe it is something different.

Unfortunately, “It Ain’t My Fault” is an inaudible anthem for many of us who don’t want to see who’s looking back at them in the mirror.

What terrible headspace to be in to avoid our own reflection.

What a horrible way to treat someone on the other end of your poor decisions that hurt them.

It ain’t my fault!

What a joke I used to be when I’d play this game.

It ain’t my fault!

What a shameful memory, that I wish was a dream.

It ain’t my fault!

Back to the cycle of abuse. Back to the poor decisions and the hell I let loose.

It ain’t my fault!

Shooting myself in the foot with poison darts, while running backwards into the croc infested waters.

It ain’t my fault!

Even the mirror is lying.

But the truth is…

The mirror is telling the truth and that’s when we need to face the music.

Embrace the true rhythm of life.

Instead of denying reality, accept it and do better moving forward.

It was my fault. It was my poor decisions that caused sliced open intimacy and pierced trust, only leaving a festering wound with no plan to dress it with and heal it with medicine.

It was my fault. The lack of maturity. The fear of failure.

It was my fault. Choosing the wrong solution to solve my problems. Choosing a quick dopamine hit over a loving partner. Choosing prison over freedom.

It was my fault and now I am free,

Free to be truthful.

Free to be honest.

Free to be me.

Is it still “Ain’t my fault” for you or are you ready to face the music?

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Accepting Accountability

Once the music is faced, we need to fully understand the wrongs we have caused, both in our own lives and in the lives of others, and take real steps to make them right.

Accountability isn’t just saying “my bad” or “I’m sorry.” It’s more than admitting fault → it’s taking full responsibility for the damage done and committing to lasting change.

It requires asking yourself the hard questions and sitting with the discomfort of honest answers. It’s taking inventory of your decisions and their consequences.

• What have my actions truly cost me?

• Who has been hurt by my choices, and in what ways?

• Have I tried to minimize, justify, or shift blame?

• What will it take to make things right → not just with words, but through action?

• What steps am I willing to take to ensure I don’t repeat the same mistakes?

• What systems and strategies will I put in place to build a real accountability structure in my life?

• Who will actively be involved in holding me accountable?

True accountability means going beyond guilt and stepping into ownership. Owning your poor decisions, your deceit, and your weaknesses → like a man. It means rebuilding trust not through promises, but through consistency, action, and repentance.

This week, take time to reflect on the real impact of your actions. When you're ready, have that conversation—with humility, with honesty, and with no expectation other than to take responsibility.

Because true freedom doesn’t come from avoiding blame or shifting it.

True freedom is found in taking full ownership of your actions and making the choice to be a better man.

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This Week’s Challenge: Facing the Music & Owning Your Actions