Facing the Shadow | How Confronting the Darkness Within Sheds Light on Our Deepest Wounds and Our Deepest Healing
The Break Free Weekly Newsletter - Edition #24
Facing the Shadow
Carl Jung was a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytical psychology. A contemporary of Sigmund Freud, Jung broke away from Freud’s emphasis on repressed sexuality to explore deeper layers of the psyche, including the concepts of archetypes, the collective unconscious, and what he called the shadow. His work has had a lasting impact on modern psychology, spiritual development, and even recovery philosophy, offering a powerful framework for understanding the inner forces that shape human behavior.
Jung described the shadow as the unconscious part of ourselves that we repress or deny, often because it contradicts the image we want to present to the world. The shadow is where we hide our shame, fear, compulsions, and pain. But repression doesn’t delete the shadow. It only pushes it deeper underground into the subconscious, where it quietly influences our decisions and drives our behaviors, especially addiction.
Jung once wrote, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” This is the trap many of us fall into. We think our struggle with porn is about willpower. But often, it’s about the parts of ourselves we haven’t faced → the pain we’ve buried, the unmet needs we’ve ignored, the emotions we’ve never learned to feel safely.
I remember this becoming real for me during EMDR sessions years ago with my therapist. He would always remind me that my subconscious had different plans than my conscious mind → and that until I recognized that internal war, I would keep falling into the same destructive patterns. I would keep making the same poor decisions.
It hit me like a brick. I had been letting my subconscious write my story. I was operating out of old scripts, protective mechanisms, and false beliefs I had never questioned. Instead of being the author of my own life, I was just a character playing out a script I didn’t even know existed.
That realization changed everything. I began to confront what was under the surface and call it out, piece by piece. And from there, I could begin to redesign my inner framework, my path of healing, and my desired trajectory.
Addiction thrives in secrecy. It feeds off the shadow. And the more we try to manage our behavior without addressing our buried pain, the more frustrated we become. The more frustrated we become, the more the shadow grows → and so does the division within. When we let this division rule, we become like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde → two identities at war with each other with destruction left behind in their wake.
I, for one, witnessed the devastation and madness this inner war can produce.
A five-year marriage destroyed
Financial ruin
Considerations of ending my journey entirely
It wasn’t until I faced the inner darkness that I was able to regain my foundation, and rediscover my mission to break free from porn prison and help others along the way.
Jung also said, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” That is shadow work. And that is what recovery really is. When we stop running and start listening to the parts of ourselves we’ve been avoiding, we begin to heal, not just the symptoms, but the root.
Facing the shadow means reclaiming your story. And when you do, you'll find that the darkness you feared was never the enemy. It was the key to your wholeness.
By embracing your darkness, you confront your shadow. And when you confront your shadow, you shed light on the roots of your pain and your cycles of addiction.
That is where the healing work begins.
That is where restoration starts.
Much love,
Mac
Fuel for the Battle
👉 Guest Article: This article by
& . I am planning on interviewing Kyle, author of the Resilient Mental State publication, soon on the podcast.In this article, Rowan unpacks Carl Jung’s 10 greatest quotes while Kyle adds his commentary. Jung is one of the most profound psychologists of our time and the wisdom he shared over his lifetime still has great impact today.
✍️ A Porn Free Millennial poem about confronting the shadows and decay within your inner temple, a necessary task to restore it back to brilliance.
🎙️Podcast Clip: In this clip from my conversation with & about identifying the porn addiction as the vampire that must be slain. The shadow’s reign must end!
Community Spotlight
Ever since I have known on Substack, he’s been nothing but kind and encouraging. Here’s a great quote of encouragement that he shared last week that gave me some pep in the step! Coming back to life, regaining humanity, healing - that is what recovery is all about!!!
52 Weeks of Freedom Series
52 Weeks of Freedom Series: Welcome to 2025, the year of Undivided Triumph! I'm dedicated to helping you achieve a porn-free year with a structured, week-by-week plan, a post each Friday this year, that builds a strong foundation for your future.
Join the Journey: Start with Week 1 - The Year Ahead – Recognizing the Problem and become part of the Porn Free Millennial community committed to breaking free from porn addiction.
For the whole collection - see this section of my publication.
Reflection
Additional Resources
Book of the Month that I am currently reading:
Right Thing, Right Now by Ryan Holiday
Porn Free Millennial Podcast of the Week:
Apps to Help You Stay Focused On Your Recovery:
Ever Accountable - I am proud to be partnering with the Accountability App Ever Accountable. Through my partnership, I can provide a 20% discount. Click the links for details!
Freedom - Blocks distracting apps
Stay Focused - Limits your screen time
I am Sober - Tracks your sobriety down to the second
1:1 Momentum Coaching
💬 What You’ll Get from Coaching with Me
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If you are ready to take your recovery to the next level - message me and we will set-up a free 30-minute consultation to discuss where you are currently at with your recovery and where you want to be.
Your Challenge for the Week: Face Your Shadow
You’ve felt the pull.
You’ve seen the patterns.
You’ve lived the cycle, again and again.
This week, I’m not asking you to fix everything.
I’m asking you to look inward.
To pause.
To ask:
What am I avoiding in myself?
What have I buried deep to survive… that now holds me hostage?
What pain, fear, or belief lives in my shadow, and how is it shaping my choices?
It’s easier to fight symptoms.
Harder to face roots.
But healing doesn’t begin with discipline.
It begins with truth.
You are not powerless.
You are not broken.
But you do have to look at what’s under the surface if you want to be free.
Start today.
Write out the story your shadow has been telling.
Name the fears, the wounds, the lies.
And then, start rewriting.
You are not your shadow.
But it holds the clues to who you’re meant to become.
And facing it is how you get there.
Closing Thoughts: Reclaim Your Story
Two years ago, I was living in the dark, not because I chose evil, but because I was afraid to look at what was hiding inside me.
My subconscious was driving.
And I didn’t even know it.
That’s what the shadow does.
It hides in silence, in secrecy, in shame.
And it shapes your life until you decide to face it.
Recovery is not just about stopping porn.
It’s about meeting the boy inside who learned to hide.
It’s about listening to what he never got to say.
It’s about confronting what’s true and choosing what’s new.
You weren’t made to live divided.
You weren’t made to carry secrets in the dark.
You were made to walk in wholeness, in freedom, in light.
And the first step toward that light, is turning around and facing what’s been following you all along.
You don’t have to do it alone.
But you do have to choose.
This is your moment.
Face the shadow.
And reclaim your story.
Break Free.
Stay Free.
Be Free.
Keep fighting the good fight!
P.S. If this resonated with you, like this post and share it with someone who needs to hear it.
And if you have thoughts or questions, I’d love to hear from you, leave a comment or send me a message!
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Great piece brother. Thanks for the share and looking forward to talking more soon.
Facing the shadow self is important work. Reminds us of Brene' Brown's chapter "Minding the Gap" in her book Daring Greatly. The "gap" she's talking about is who we wish or envision ourselves to be and who we currently are at the moment.